A letter of wishes is a private, informal document you write alongside your will. It is not legally binding, but it gives your executors, and, where you have set one up, the trustees of a trust, guidance on things a will is not well suited to spelling out in detail: funeral preferences, who should have particular sentimental items, how you would like guardians to raise your children, or how trustees should use their discretion. Unlike a codicil, it doesn’t need signing or witnessing, and unlike your will, it doesn’t get sent to the probate registry. Because it carries no legal weight, it is not a substitute for your will. It is a companion to it.
This guide explains what a letter of wishes can and can’t do, how it differs from a will and a codicil, what to put in one, and the mistakes that undermine it.
What a letter of wishes is
Your will is a formal legal document. It has to meet specific requirements to be valid, and once you die, the people carrying out its instructions (your executors, and any trustees named for trusts it creates) are legally bound by what it says.
A letter of wishes sits alongside the will and covers everything that doesn’t need that level of formality, or that you’d rather keep private. A will becomes a public document once probate is granted, so anything sensitive or personal is often better placed in a letter of wishes, which stays confidential to whoever you choose to show it to.
Typical uses:
- Funeral wishes – burial or cremation, the kind of service you want, music, readings, whether you want it to be religious
- Guidance on personal possessions – who should have particular items of sentimental rather than significant financial value, where the will’s residuary clause covers “personal effects” without listing every item
- Guidance to guardians – informal thoughts on how you’d like children brought up, without the legal formality (or public visibility) of putting it in the will itself
- Guidance to trustees – if your will sets up a discretionary trust, the trustees have to decide how and when beneficiaries benefit. A letter of wishes tells them how you’d like them to approach that judgement call, without tying their hands legally
Because it isn’t legally binding, none of this needs a solicitor, witnesses, or any particular format. You can write it, revise it, or replace it as often as your circumstances change.
Letter of wishes vs will vs codicil
| Will | Codicil | Letter of wishes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Legally binding | Yes | Yes (part of the will) | No |
| Needs witnesses | Yes – two witnesses | Yes – same rules as a will | No |
| Sent to probate registry | Yes, with any codicils | Yes, listed with the will | No |
| Becomes public after probate | Yes | Yes | No – stays private |
| Can change who inherits | Yes | Yes, for the specific clause it amends | No |
| How easy to update | Requires a new will or codicil, signed and witnessed | Requires signing and witnessing | Rewrite or add a note any time |
A codicil is a legally binding amendment to your will. It has to meet the same signing and witnessing requirements set out in section 9 of the Wills Act 1837, and once signed it is treated as part of the will itself. It’s the right tool when you want to make a legally enforceable change, for instance swapping an executor or adding a specific gift.
A letter of wishes does the opposite job. It has no legal force at all, so it can never be used to change what your will says about who gets what. What it does well is capture the detail and nuance a will isn’t designed for: the reasoning behind a decision, funeral preferences, or ongoing guidance to trustees that might need to flex as circumstances change over the years.
Is a letter of wishes legally binding
No. This is the point worth being clear-eyed about before you write one. A letter of wishes has no status in law. Your executors and any trustees are not legally obliged to follow it.
That doesn’t mean it’s pointless. Executors generally do follow clear, reasonable wishes, particularly around funeral arrangements and the distribution of personal items, because there’s rarely any reason not to and because it spares them from having to guess what you would have wanted. For trustees of a discretionary trust, a letter of wishes carries more formal (though still non-binding) weight: trustees are expected to have regard to it when deciding how to exercise their discretion over the trust, even though they are not legally bound by its terms. The trust deed and the general law of trusts, not the letter, define what trustees must do.
If anything in your letter of wishes contradicts your will, the will wins. gov.uk’s guidance on making a will confirms that a will is what determines who gets your money, property, and possessions after your death; a letter of wishes can only add detail around that, never override it.
What to include in a letter of wishes
Keep it specific and practical. A letter that says “look after the children well” gives a guardian nothing to act on; a letter that explains you’d like them to keep the children close to their existing school and friendship group, or to maintain contact with a particular relative, gives real guidance.
Useful sections to cover:
- Funeral wishes – burial or cremation, venue preferences, music or readings, and whether you’d like it to be a quiet family affair or a larger gathering. See our guide on funeral planning for the practical side of arranging this.
- Personal possessions – name specific items and who you’d like to have them, especially anything with sentimental rather than significant monetary value that your will’s residuary clause doesn’t itemise individually. If you have a pet, this is also where you can set out care instructions, routine, and vet details for whoever you’ve named to look after them – see our guide to pets in a will for how to structure the gift itself.
- Guidance for guardians – if you’ve named guardians for children under 18 in your will, use the letter to add informal context: values you’d like passed on, relationships you’d like maintained, anything practical about routines or schooling.
- Guidance for trustees – if your will creates a discretionary trust, explain how you’d like the trustees to think about the beneficiaries’ circumstances: when you’d want them to be generous, when to hold back, and any specific concerns (for example, a beneficiary who struggles to manage money, where you might want distributions staged rather than paid in one go).
- Digital accounts and sentimental digital assets – photos, social media accounts, or anything you’d like preserved, deleted, or passed to a specific person, alongside practical access details kept somewhere secure.
Common mistakes to avoid
Using it to try to change who inherits. A letter of wishes cannot redirect an asset your will has already left to someone. If you want to change a beneficiary, you need a codicil or a new will. Trying to do it through a letter of wishes will simply be ignored by anyone carrying out the estate, because the will is what has legal force.
Writing something that contradicts the will. If your letter and your will disagree, the will governs, and the contradiction just creates confusion for whoever is trying to carry out your wishes. Check that anything you write is consistent with what the will says.
Storing it somewhere your executor won’t find it. Because it isn’t sent to the probate registry, a letter of wishes only works if the right people know it exists and where to find it. A letter locked away with nobody aware of it is no different from not having written one.
Leaving it too vague to act on. “Be fair to everyone” or “use your judgement” isn’t guidance, it’s an absence of guidance. Be as specific as you reasonably can, particularly for trustees who need something concrete to weigh against the circumstances of each beneficiary.
Forgetting to update it. Circumstances change: a beneficiary’s needs shift, a guardian’s situation changes, your feelings about a particular possession move on. Because a letter of wishes needs no witnesses, updating it costs nothing beyond your time, so there’s little excuse for letting it go stale.
Summary
A letter of wishes is an informal, non-binding companion to your will. It doesn’t need to be witnessed, doesn’t need a solicitor, and can be updated whenever you like, which makes it a practical way to give executors, guardians, and trustees the kind of detailed, personal guidance a formal will was never designed to hold. It cannot change who inherits under your will, and it carries no legal force if a dispute arises, so keep it consistent with the will and store it where your executor will find it. For a legally enforceable change to who gets what, use a codicil or write a new will. Our guide on how to write a will covers the full process, including where letters of wishes fit alongside guardianship and trust decisions.