Choosing a poem or reading for a funeral is one of the most meaningful – and most difficult – tasks in the days after a death. You want something that feels true to the person, gives some comfort to those in the room, and can be read aloud by someone who is already carrying grief.
There is no definitive answer. A reading that is perfect for one person would be entirely wrong for another. This guide covers the most popular poems and readings used at UK funerals, practical advice on choosing between them, and what to bear in mind if someone is reading aloud for the first time.
This guide covers: how to choose, the most popular funeral poems, religious readings, non-religious and humanist readings, choosing something when a child has died, practical tips for the reader, and common questions.
How to choose a poem or reading
Start with the person who died, not with the poem. What mattered to them? Were they religious or secular? Did they have a sense of humour – or would they have rolled their eyes at anything that felt forced? Was there a poem or passage they loved, a book that defined them, a line they quoted?
A few questions worth working through before you decide:
| Question | Why it matters |
|---|---|
| What were their beliefs? | Shapes whether religious or secular readings feel right |
| What was the tone of their life? | A warm, funny person deserves a reading that reflects that |
| Who will be reading? | Someone in grief needs something short enough to get through |
| How long is the slot? | Two to three minutes is the usual target |
| Will it appear in the order of service? | Copyright affects what can legally be printed |
On tone. Funerals are not required to be uniformly solemn. A reading that brings a gentle smile to the room can be exactly right, particularly for someone who would have found too much gravity uncomfortable. Both consolation and warmth are entirely appropriate.
On belief. For religious services, scripture carries weight that secular readings rarely match. For humanist or non-religious ceremonies, secular poems are more fitting. That said, the line is not absolute – “Death is nothing at all” was written as a sermon extract, yet is used as often at non-religious services as at church funerals, because the sentiment transcends denomination.
On length. A reading typically takes two to three minutes. At a calm, unhurried pace, that is roughly 250 to 400 words. Choose something that can be delivered at the pace it deserves.
On the reader. A grieving family member needs something short enough to get through when their voice is unsteady. An experienced celebrant or minister can handle something longer. Think about who will be reading before you finalise your choice.
Popular funeral poems
These are the poems requested most frequently at UK funerals.
“Do not stand at my grave and weep” (Mary Elizabeth Frye, 1932) is the single most requested poem at UK funerals. Its central idea – that the person who died lives on in the natural world, in the wind, the rain, the shining stars – offers consolation that works regardless of religious belief. It is short enough to be read by someone in distress, and the imagery is universal. The full text is in the public domain.
“She is gone” / “He is gone” (David Harkins, 1981) opens with a choice: “You can shed tears that she is gone / Or you can smile because she lived.” That bifurcation – mourning versus celebration – makes it one of the most emotionally versatile poems used at UK funerals. Harkins wrote it about unrequited love, but it was chosen by Queen Elizabeth II for the funeral of Queen Elizabeth The Queen Mother in 2002, which brought it to national attention. The poem adapts depending on who has died: “she is gone” and “he is gone” are both in circulation. Still in copyright – contact the author’s publisher for print permission if reproducing in an order of service.
“Death is nothing at all” (Henry Scott Holland, 1910) is worth a note here: it is not technically a poem. It is an extract from a sermon preached at St Paul’s Cathedral following the death of King Edward VII. Despite its religious origins, it is used as often at humanist and non-religious ceremonies as at church services. The voice of the piece – speaking as if death were simply stepping into another room – is extraordinarily consoling. The full text is in the public domain.
“Remember” (Christina Rossetti, 1862) is a Petrarchan sonnet that moves from asking to be remembered towards gently releasing the grief of those left behind. Its final turn – “Better by far you should forget and smile / Than that you should remember and be sad” – is one of the most generous lines in the English elegiac tradition. Public domain.
“Crossing the Bar” (Alfred, Lord Tennyson, 1889) uses the image of a ship moving out to sea at sunset as a metaphor for a peaceful death. It is particularly well suited to those who loved the coast or the sea, and to services with a Christian faith element. Four stanzas; easily read in under two minutes. Public domain.
“If I should go” (Joyce Grenfell, 1980) takes a different approach: warm and gently insistent that those left behind should laugh and be glad for what was shared, rather than dwell on what was lost. One of the few poems regularly used at funerals that carries a light touch without feeling inappropriate. In copyright but widely available online.
“Do not go gentle into that good night” (Dylan Thomas, 1951) is a villanelle – a tightly structured poetic form – and its controlled fury makes it one of the most emotionally powerful choices. Written for Thomas’s dying father, its instruction to “rage against the dying of the light” is chosen for those who fought illness and for those who lived with great intensity. Thomas died in 1953; under UK copyright law, his work entered the public domain in 2023 (70 years after death). You can reproduce it freely in a printed order of service.
“Funeral blues” (W.H. Auden) was made famous in the UK through the 1994 film Four Weddings and a Funeral. A poem of overwhelming loss, it suits a service where the grief is raw and those attending were closest to the person who died. Still in copyright.
“The Old Astronomer” (Sarah Williams, 1868) is less widely known but frequently chosen for those with an enquiring mind or a love of science. Its closing lines – “Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light / I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night” – have a quiet, enduring quality. Public domain.
A quick-reference summary:
| Poem | Author | Tone | Copyright status |
|---|---|---|---|
| Do not stand at my grave and weep | Mary Elizabeth Frye (1932) | Comforting, nature imagery | Public domain |
| She is gone / He is gone | David Harkins (1981) | Celebratory, mourning or joy | In copyright |
| Death is nothing at all | Henry Scott Holland (1910) | Reassuring, conversational | Public domain |
| Remember | Christina Rossetti (1862) | Gentle, tender | Public domain |
| Crossing the Bar | Tennyson (1889) | Peaceful | Public domain |
| Do not go gentle | Dylan Thomas (1951) | Fierce, intense | Public domain (UK, from 2023) |
| If I should go | Joyce Grenfell (1980) | Warm, light | In copyright |
| Funeral blues | W.H. Auden (1938) | Raw grief | In copyright |
| The Old Astronomer | Sarah Williams (1868) | Quiet, reflective | Public domain |
Religious readings
For faith-based services, scripture carries a weight that secular readings rarely match. These are the passages most commonly chosen at UK funerals.
Psalm 23 (“The Lord is my shepherd”) is the most commonly used scriptural reading at UK funerals. The King James Version is free of copyright and can be reproduced in full in a printed order of service. Even at non-religious services, many families choose it because the person who died knew it well and found comfort in its words.
John 14:1-3 (“In my Father’s house are many rooms”) is frequently used at Church of England, Roman Catholic, and Baptist services. Its direct reassurance – “I go to prepare a place for you” – works well even as a very short reading, making it suitable for a brief graveside committal.
1 Corinthians 13 (“Love is patient, love is kind”) is used at both weddings and funerals. Its closing lines – “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” – work as well in grief as in celebration. Used across Church of England, Catholic, and humanist services alike.
Romans 8:38-39 (“For I am convinced that neither death nor life… shall be able to separate us from the love of God”) is a passage of absolute certainty, particularly suited to services for those whose faith was central to their life.
A note on denomination: the 23rd Psalm and 1 Corinthians 13 are used across all major Christian denominations. Catholic Requiem Masses more commonly draw on specific liturgical texts – your priest will advise. Jewish funerals draw on Psalms 23, 90, and 91. Muslim funeral prayers are typically in Arabic; your imam will guide the service. Sikh funerals incorporate shabads from the Guru Granth Sahib. For any faith tradition, confirm with the officiant which texts are appropriate.
A note on scripture at secular funerals: many families who have no personal religious faith choose a psalm or a passage from the King James Bible because it was meaningful to the person who died, or because the language has a quality that more modern writing rarely matches. Choosing a scriptural reading at a non-religious service says nothing about the beliefs of those attending; it says something about the person being remembered.
Non-religious and humanist readings
For humanist ceremonies and non-religious services, a range of prose passages and secular poems are widely used.
“A Parable of Immortality” (attributed to Henry Van Dyke) uses the image of a ship sailing out of sight over the horizon: the ship does not disappear, it simply passes beyond what the viewer can see. A consoling metaphor for those who find comfort in continuity. Brief – around 150 words – and suits a quiet, slow delivery.
Kahlil Gibran on death (from The Prophet, 1923) – the passage beginning “You would know the secret of death” approaches mortality as a natural threshold rather than an ending. The Prophet is in the public domain in the UK (Gibran died in 1931; copyright expired in 2001), so the full text can be reproduced freely.
“Those we love don’t go away” (anonymous, widely circulated) is used frequently on memorial cards and in services. Brief enough to be read in under a minute, it works well as a closing moment in the ceremony. Because it is anonymous and widely reproduced, there are no copyright concerns for personal use.
Humanist celebrants often use bespoke prose pieces written specifically for the service – either by themselves or in collaboration with the family. This is always worth asking about, particularly if none of the standard readings feel right.
When a child or young person has died
Choosing a reading for a child or young person’s funeral is among the hardest things a family can face. There is no right or wrong approach – be led entirely by what feels true to that child and what the family can bear.
Some approaches families have taken:
For very young children, short and gentle readings with simple imagery tend to work better than complex verse. Some families choose a passage from a book the child loved, or a simple poem that reflects the particular way they saw the world.
For teenagers and young adults, the poems in the main section above – particularly “Do not stand at my grave and weep” or “If I should go” – are often more appropriate than specifically child-themed readings. A young person would rarely have wanted anything overly sentimental.
Many celebrants will write a short bespoke piece for a child’s funeral. Ask about this option early in the planning process.
If children are attending the service, it is worth thinking about what the reading will mean to them. Something short, accessible, and not overly abstract will be easier for a child to hold on to.
If someone else is reading
Being asked to read at a funeral is an honour, and it will almost certainly feel terrifying. These things help:
Practise aloud, not silently. Reading something on paper feels nothing like speaking it in front of 60 people who are already in tears. Practise until you know where the hard lines are – the phrases that will catch in your throat – so they do not surprise you on the day.
Print it large. Use at least 14pt font, double-spaced. Do not read from your phone. Screens can dim or scroll accidentally, and running out of charge at the lectern is exactly as bad as it sounds.
Speak slowly. The instinct under emotional pressure is to rush – to get through it. Resist this. A pause that feels endless to you will feel natural to everyone else in the room.
It is fine to stop. If you need a moment, take one. Every person there will understand. The reading does not have to be delivered without pause to be moving – sometimes the pause is the most powerful thing.
Ask someone to stand by. Before the service, identify someone who could step in and finish the last few lines if you cannot continue. This almost never happens, but knowing the option exists makes it easier to stay composed.
Common questions
How many readings at a funeral?
Most UK funeral services include one or two readings. A short service – around 30 minutes – might have one; a longer service of 45 to 60 minutes more commonly has two, sometimes three. More than three readings in a single service can start to feel overloaded. If several people want to contribute, consider whether some might offer a brief personal spoken tribute instead of a formal reading.
Can I write my own poem or tribute?
Yes – and a tribute written specifically for the person who died will often land harder than any published piece. Start with the specific, not the general: a detail or a memory that only you know. Keep it short – three to five short stanzas, or around 200 words of prose, is plenty. Write it, then read it aloud; if you stumble over a phrase, change it. It does not need to rhyme. A plain sentence spoken with feeling is more moving than verse that strains to fit a pattern.
What is the most popular funeral poem in the UK?
Based on what funeral directors and celebrants consistently report, “Do not stand at my grave and weep” (Mary Elizabeth Frye) and “She is gone / He is gone” (David Harkins) are the two most frequently requested. “Death is nothing at all” (Henry Scott Holland), “Remember” (Christina Rossetti), and “If I should go” (Joyce Grenfell) are also among the most commonly chosen.
Does the poem have to be religious?
No. Many of the most popular poems used at UK funerals have no religious content at all. The choice should reflect the person who died and the tone the family wants for the service.
What if there is a copyright issue?
Reading a poem aloud at a funeral service is generally fine for any poem, regardless of copyright status. The copyright question only arises when you want to reproduce the text in print – in an order of service or a memorial card. For in-print use, check whether the work is in the public domain (see the table above). For copyrighted poems you want to print, contact the rights holder or the publisher’s permissions department. Our guide to creating an order of service covers this in more detail, including which common hymns and poems can be freely reproduced.
Part of our funeral planning guide. If you are also choosing music and hymns, see our guide to funeral hymns. For help putting together the service booklet, see our guide to creating an order of service. For the tribute speech, see our guide to writing a eulogy.